'One Life' is a short story written by my son Abhijit Rajan

One life!

A sperm entering ovum gives form to a life after a long battle. Is it basically a combination of two life? One of the sperm and the other the ovum. A part of the experience that the man has had in his life would be basically contained in the sperm that has been passed to the new born life. Similarly a part of the experience that the woman has had in her life is contained in the ovum is passed to the new born.

What would two life experience create an effect in the child's life?

Why would everyone live the same life if so? Why is experimentation with one's life not taught at school or college , not even by the parents?

I live a similar life where i basically get up everyday go to work and come back. My morning starts late as an IT employee's usually is. 

Act busy: As soon as an IT employee gets up the "Acting busy" schedule starts. Rush to the bathroom , brush - poop - bath then to office. His 1 hour morning life is so busy that he forgets to enjoy the sun , listen to morning raga played in the opp flat by an old couple. He doesn't care about those as he is late for his usual meeting to waste time on discussing about how to create money for others.

Why would you create money for others so that you would earn 2% of that every month? 

Rules of Life:Tanker lorry passes by for providing daily water as i walked past a tea stall on my way to office. We built civilization to live in harmony where we can survive and make mankind safe from other beings. Later a leader was appointed to lead the civilization which grew to group of people who made a word called RULES and created a certain way of life to lead. The words RULES and DISCIPLINE became a part of mankind's life What if we break these rules? The rules gave birth to a trade system where if you wanted something that was actually free you had to pay for it. Like this water, it is every right for mankind to take it for free but he doesn't. He feels safe in this life filled with rules.

Prison break to a larger one: As i watched the inverted water can, i can see the air bubbles rushing upwards to escape from the surrounding water. Seems like the bubble feels claustrophobic to the water. My mind wondered as to why is the air trying to go up? A stupid reasoning for people who try to find science in everything , people who enjoy non logic based bollywood movies. My reasons try to find logic of its own, the bubble doesn't know as to why or where its trying to go. Its just escaping the nearest place that is accessible but does it know that after escaping from the claustrophobic environment of water it going into a prison of another air molecules who are stuck inside there until the Water Can is emptied. How is our life so different? The time from when we left college where we taught that what the society would do and enjoy. if society does Engineering and MBBS then i would do that, as society is happy with that i would basically be happy in that. Once i entered in that life i felt claustrophobic so much that i wanted to escape it somehow. How can i spend all my life in with just a computer to look into. The computer has became a bigger part of my life than my wife or children. As i tried to escape it i found that others who has escaped the same trauma has been cornered in the Can of society. Wherever i went an event the society would ask me what i was doing and when i said that i am living my life then society would look at my life and compare with theirs. Basically, i would be moved from the center of the Society Square to the Dark Corners where Society would rarely look. The fear of that LOOK would make my loved ones go into Cancerous Mode where all that would follow is disease, sadness and poverty that would end into a larger prison. Instead of bigger prison the smaller prison would make me better and i would go back to a new can filled with Society and no air. Another life in front of a computer.

The Power of Despised Person: As i wait for my appraisal letter i would see despise on the faces of ones who got the letter before me. Cursing the so called "Future Decider" who has the control of how miserable your life should be. How many people would have cursed him and still why is GOD so good on him? Is there a GOD or is he the GOD? I always wondered as to when i would  have that control and how would i behave in such a situation. I have always been on the receiving end so i would not know. Man or animal , the path and emotions of our life is always on the hands of others from the time of birth. Deciding to travel in an auto with just 100rs in hand and your dinner is waiting for you just for the cost of 30rs. Suddenly all the auto drivers decide to go no less than 80rs. You would agree and your dinner would be settled to something that you would get for 20rs and you would despise the auto driver. Voted for government for better roads near my house and increase the minimum salary limit for the tax and other false promises and finally in my mind i taught that what different did this government do different that the previous government did. I was called inside and the manager told me , You have really worked harder compared to the previous year but your learning over this year has decreased and so you haven't show any progress and you haven't done anything INNOVATIVE. I came out of the room cursing him like everyone else and still waiting for that POWER.

Finally, The Deep Bond of Adjustment Department:

I came home with fake smile and my wife would receive me with another fake smile. I have never really understood the life of togetherness. I really don't like the food that my wife makes but still i eat it. I would have rather had the street food than that but i would not want to do that as it would make my wife sad who has prepared the food with such great love, that's what i think it would be. I would rather think if my colleague was my wife then i would be really happy as she makes good food ,really really delicious. I liked my colleague very much I share all my feelings with her and she really understood what i wanted. I don't know if its because i spend more time with her in my daily life than with my wife and that may be cause of all the divorces but i felt good being with her and the thought of Divorce has really passed my mind. Really, How can a person be with same person the rest of the life? I felt deep inside that the colleague was the one who should be my wife and i knew that she had the same feelings for me too. When i was watching TV the wife would come and ask how the work was and i had no interest in sharing my feelings of bad appraisal with her as there is nothing that she can do to make it better. I would say that it was good and i returned back to the TV. And she came to know that i was least interested. She called me again distracting me from my TV session and with my irritation level at its peak i asked her, what?! . She said that she wanted to tell me a story for which i agreed. She said "Once there was a bird who was injured on a roadside and I saw the poor thing and took it home, nursed it and gave it food. I took great care of it day and night watched it like it was my own baby. I used to talk to the bird day and night. I had once failed in the exam and cried and i was scared to tell my parents and i told my bird regarding my fear about what my parents would think of me. My dad overheard the conversation as at once knew that I was scared to share my results with them and he came to me and said that it was just an exam and that he would help me in explaining the difficult topics and the love for my bird grew a lot as he was my savior in a way. One day, one particular day , i had gone to take bath and lost my ring. I did not know where i kept it last and i asked my parents and grandparents and they did not know where it went and they started to scream at me and i felt so bad that night that i literally spent all night with my bird. The next day, when my mom was cleaning the cage she saw something glowing in the bottom of it. Instantly she came to know that it was my ring and i hadn't lost it somewhere. She called me and said where she found it and i had recalled that i had kept it near the cage before taking bath. I was very happy to get it and i looked at my bird and a mixed feeling came over me. It transformed from happiness to a different emotion . An emotion of betrayal came all over me and without a second thought i took the bird and killed it instantly, because of its glow he was attracted towards and he took it and hid it at the bottom. Even after i shared my feelings to him he didn't even bother to give it back!! I loved him very much but still the feeling of betraying my trust was more intense than my love for the bird and i had punished it then and there." 

I stared at her for a few seconds , she didn't blink even for a second. She knew about my love for my colleague. She kissed me and said, "Goodnight, sweet heart!!"

My Life!!! One Life!!!

How and who killed Sunanda Pushkar?

Again my question is… what is wrong with Indian media, especially the visual media? Why these new generation visual media ‘prodigies’ are always exaggerating anything  that comes near their vicinity? How can these   ‘Goswamis’ become experts on anything under the sun?  Who on earth has authorized  these modern day ‘Sherlock Holmeses’ to authoritatively conduct and declare the verdict on matters which are no way under their ‘jurisdiction’?  Still as poor ‘viewers’ of these  nonsense ‘cubs’  tolerance is the only option before us. Isn’t?

Knowing about ethics of journalism and adhering to its basic principles are some minimum qualities that a journalist must possess.  The label of journalism doesn’t permit anyone to go overboard on any individual and tarnish his/her  personal or professional image in the public.  It also doesn’t permit the intrusion into anyone’s privacy.

Coming to the case of Sunanda Pushkar’s death,  I expect  our media to act with little more responsibility.  When debate sessions in our news channels becomes battle fields of words,  mission of these channels to identify the real issue gets sidelined and only to increase their TRP rating becomes the ultimate goal.  I do not blame their marketing strategy. However, what I am concerned is, should they play this dirty game in someone’s expense?

Why do I say this is, there are many anchors who conduct these debates with their pre-notion on the subject.  Let them have it. I am not against it. But how can they force others to believe and agree to their  views?  For example, when I express some opinion on one subject that is just ‘MY’ opinion and need not necessary it must be the truth.  If our debate anchors conduct their program with this point in mind, they will be successful in extracting more information from others in the debate that will ultimately  bring out something good out of the show.

There are lot of speculation going around on the cause of Sunanda Pushkar’ death. Everyone has the liberty to assume things  with their own intelligence and have their own perspectives.  However,  it is very pathetic to see the argument of some media people who are trying to play junior Sherlock Holmeses and forcing the viewers to believe that it is a murder case that has been surely carried out by her husband Shashi Tharoor.   When I first ‘saw’ the BREAKING NEWS  on these TV channels saying SUNANDA PUSH MURDERED: CONFIRMS DELHI POLICE, I thought the police must have got some solid evidence that made them to come on this conclusion. However, my repeated efforts to find out through these ‘channels’ , there was nothing ‘new’ I could  summarize from the new revelations. At least these junior ‘Sherlock Holmeses ’ must have taken some more pain to dig further deep into extract something solid that has made the police to reach into this conclusion. Strangely, the police had nothing new to reveal, except she died “UNNATURAL’ death and it  was cause of POISONING!!!!! Arre baba, this was something we are hearing from day one, there is nothing new.  Can someone come forward and enlighten me if ‘unnatural death’ means  it is only a murder? Because our media people are making out it in that way. Then came the photographs of her body which shows bruises and injection marks which these medias  showcase as the proof that Sunanda was attacked by someone.   Followed  by now infamous ‘INJURY NO. 10” that could be the cause of the death!!!!!.  I really surprised how these ‘over-reacting’ media people gets such false information and wasting hours of hours of time just on arguments.  When these same people who have managed to capture a copy of the FIR all their arguments have got bumped.  In the FIR it has been stated that the injurious found on Sunanda’s body are 12 hours to 4 days old and none of these injuries are amount of her death.

There are also other statements that have been made out by people like Nalini Singh and Shobha  De. One of the statements was  Ms. Sunanda has revealed that she has some serious illness and she is not going to survive for a long time. Other is Shashi Tharoor is connected to some other ladies and he is not sincere to Sunanda. How far it is true or false to be a matter that needs to be probed and proved.

However, from an ordinary thinking mind I can summarize the whole happenings in some other way which will be more scientific and logical.

That is……..Sunanda was very much suffering from some kind of mental depression.

There is a possibility that  she was suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This condition must have developed from her attitude of over possessiveness towards her husband. The way it has been told by her friends, she threatened Shashi Tharoor and complained about his sincerity towards her. This claim leads to believe that she was mentally depressed and could not stand to tolerate her husband getting associated with any other woman other than herself.

Now coming to NPD, it is said, people who are diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy. It further states that NPD is a Cluster B personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and to others in the process.

I have made above observations on the basis of the statements and arguments that I have heard and read in the media and not on any medical ground.  However, if the observation holds any water, it is easy to reach on to a convincing conclusion of Sunanda’s death theory.

That is…. It was habitual for her to get into argument with her husband on subject that are mainly connected to some woman or women. There is no wonder even if she has threatened him by bringing matters he has been infamously associated with --  matters such as IPL etc.  One of the interesting part of the whole episode is, no one, even her close relations, never never, never ever, (courtesy Arnab) have pointed a finger at Shashi Tharoor  accusing him of hurting her physically or emotionally any point of time. 

Initially there were lot of arguments going  on about the injuries on her body and it was made out to be the result of an attack on her. Then the Dubai connection and unknown people staying in the hotel with fake passports etc. etc.  However, when the FIR became a public document through the ‘efforts’ of visual media, most of these claims had to be shelved and now these media prodigies are looking for other ‘loopholes’ in the inquiry, (FYI: A injury mark appears NOT only when a person gets attacked by someone but it can also happen in other way around, I mean hitting somebody can cause harm or injury to your own body too. As the injuries in Sunanda Pushkar’s body seems to be minor ones, the chances of above possibility increases.).

From all the evidence that has been revealed and are in the public domain suggest that it was a possible case of suicide or a death due to overdose of drugs.  The Delhi police claims it is an ‘unnatural death’ and she has been ‘poisoned’.  However, there is no reason or evidence to believe till today that she was poisoned by someone else. If at all poison was administered, it should have be done by herself.

Let me conclude with a report appeared in the Economic Times on January 21, 2014.

‘Autopsy report shows 27 tablets of Alprax caused Sunanda Pushkar’s death’

Autopsy findings in the death of Sunanda Pushkar are believed to have indicated that she had died because of an overdose of a prescription drug, Alprax, which may have made her slip into coma and perhaps die in her sleep last Friday. Though there are over a dozen minor injury marks on her hands and face, they are not related to her death, the doctors at AIIMS are believed to have said in the autopsy report terming the cause of death as "drug overdose".

Now the Delhi police have two options. Either they must admit that the above autopsy report was the one that they have received from doctors of AIIMS or they must come out and reveal something that they were able to lay their hands on to believe it was a clear case of murder.  Whatever the truth is, it is the responsibility of the Delhi to police to put a full stop to all speculations and embarrassments.